Posted Jan 21, 2011 5:08am
by Melinda
Wednesday was a quiet day for Sara with no tests and no changes. Also on that day, two social workers, a nurse and a psychologist stopped by Sara’s room to see if I needed any support. I was sitting by Sara’s bed when they asked me if I had any religious beliefs and if I had any hope for Sara. The room was very quiet as these four women stood around Sara’s bed and I thought for a moment about the question. Then, through my tears, I was able to tell them much of what I have already expressed here in my updates. It went something like this:
Sara is a very special daughter of our Heavenly Father and if it is in His plan for Sara to wake up, then she most certainly will. God is in control. I know that Sara will always be my daughter and I will always be her mother. If it is her time to go, I will find peace in knowing that she has fulfilled her mission on earth. I know that I will see Sara again and that our whole family will be reunited again after this life. I also know what the doctors have said from the beginning about her not making improvements and not waking up. It is God’s decision, not mine and not the doctors. And if I could add one more thing now to what I said it would be that I have hope in and because of Christ.
I don’t know if that was the answer they were looking for, but our conversation continued on for quite a while about our family after that. They seem to be very smart and caring women and I can only imagine what heartache they must witness every day at work.
It was quite an emotional day as Sara went another day without improvement.
Thursday, Sara had another CT scan of her brain, but this time using a high dose resolution. Surprisingly, it came back better than expected. It showed some swelling of the brain, but not to the degree the doctors were expecting. It also showed no bleeding.
Regardless of the scan, the doctors tell us they are not putting much weight on its results but instead say what matters most is what Sara is doing, or in this case, not doing, neurologically. In other words they are pessimistic about the outcome for Sara but at the same time are very kind and supportive.
It's important to understand that Sara’s brain injury occurred due to lack of oxygen to the brain. This is very different from an actual trauma to the brain. The doctors explained that Sara would have a better chance of recovery if she had been shot in the head or had fallen off a balcony than to experience loss of oxygen to the brain. It is very different.
Furthermore, Sara's predicament is a little more complicated than just her brain injury. Not only is she still receiving powerful meds to sustain her heart function, but she will most likely need heart surgery as well. We have been told that the surgeons won’t take a comatose patient into the operating room.
This whole experience is sureal for us. Of course, no parent ever wants to be in this situation. We love our daughter more than words can explain and our heart aches that she is in this situation. We continue to fast and pray and stay close to the Lord so that we may know His will and find peace.
Steve asked me if I was going to blog about him crying again. Hopefully he won't mind if I share this little experience: Tonight, after the night nurse came on shift, Steve was reading Sara a story from a princess book that one of the nurses from a few days ago went out and bought for Sara. After Steve finished reading, the nurse told Steve how touching it was to see a Dad sit and read to his little daughter who was so sick. She told us how many parents only give attention to their kids when their child is able to interact with them. Steve explained that we weren’t shy and wouldn't be embarassed by acting as if we were interacting with Sara. It’s true, often we have to just pretend the nurse is not there and just talk, read or sing to Sara as if it were just us in the room. Every moment we have with Sara is treasured.
Please continue to pray for Sara and our family. We feel of your love and are strengthened by your prayers and support. We are trying to find reasons to be grateful (like having your love and prayers) and expressing them to the Lord in our prayers. We are truly blessed. Maybe I’ll share more about those things in a later post. For now, I need to get some sleep.
Love,
Melinda & Steve
Melinda & Steve
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